It’s a well-known fact that although men almost always reach orgasm during intercourse, women often have a difficult time doing the same. The number of women who have difficulty achieving orgasm is surprisingly high, with studies suggesting figures of up to 34 percent. Other studies have found that less than 50 percent of married women reach orgasm every time they have sex. Having multiple orgasms is rarer still. Why is it that so many women orgasm so infrequently, and what can we do to close this gap?
Why Do Women Orgasm Less Frequently Than Men?
In the past, it was thought that when women orgasm with difficulty, it was due entirely to psychological factors. Psychological aspects that could affect sexual function include abuse, trauma, unhealthy relationships, anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem and grief; all of which are known to contribute to low libido and difficulty having an orgasm. While it is certainly true for many women, science now recognizes that there are also anatomical reasons why a woman might have trouble achieving orgasm.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that clitoral size and location makes a difference in sexual health and satisfaction. Researchers used an MRI to scan the pelvic areas of 30 women with an average age of 32. They discovered that in the women who reported difficulty reaching orgasm, the clitoris was five to six millimeters farther away from the vagina than in women who did not report orgasm difficulty. The women who had difficulty also had smaller clitorises.
A likely explanation for these women’s trouble having an orgasm is that larger clitorises have more nerve endings, making them more sensitive and easy to stimulate and that having a clitoris closer to the vagina makes it easier to orgasm from intercourse alone. However, researchers note that it’s impossible to know whether clitoral size affects ability to orgasm, or if having frequent orgasms increases the size of the clitoris.
Making Orgasm Easier
- One of the most important ways to increase your chances of having an orgasm is to communicate effectively with your partner. One survey found that 85 percent of men thought that their partner had an orgasm the last time they had sex, yet only 64 percent of women reported actually having one. In order to avoid this obvious gap in communication, let your partner know what you like and don’t like. Share the techniques, positions and fantasies that will help you orgasm.
- Deal with emotional problems if they are preventing you from feeling comfortable in the bedroom. You may want to consider counseling or therapy, either on your own or as a couple.
- Set aside ample time for making love. Statistically, most women need at least 20 minutes of sexual activity in order to reach orgasm. More foreplay and slower-paced sex are very helpful for many women.
- Ginger, ginseng, and L-arginine can help improve genital function by improving circulation. If you suffer from sexual concerns as a result of using psychiatric medicines such as antidepressants, maca root has been proven to be helpful.
- Try different positions to find one that helps you orgasm more easily. Research has proven that women who prefer the cowgirl position are more likely to have frequent orgasms. Positions such as cowgirl, doggy style and spooning are helpful because they allow to you reach your clitoris; you can use your fingers or a vibrator to help you orgasm while you have intercourse. Another important aspect of intercourse is the angle of penis entry. The coital alignment technique can help stimulate your clitoris directly.
Remember that not reaching orgasm is completely normal. There is no need to feel as if you are dysfunctional just because you don’t orgasm every time you have intercourse. Trying some of the tips above, and most importantly, letting yourself relax mentally, will help take the pressure off and improve your chances of having an orgasm.